Women have a reputation for poor reverse parking in the West. If this were a car, it would be a Ford Cliché. Rival model: Buick Old Chestnut. What can be done about it? The answer, damsels, is China. It could sort this.

How? Gender parking stereotypes have yet to be established here. It’s not clear if Chinese men can park, as many have chauffeurs for their over-spacious premium sedans, or they are taxi drivers. Chauffeurs just linger; they don’t reverse linger. And taxi drivers don’t have to park. So we can’t tell.

Amongst Chinese men who do drive their own car, the early signs of male spatial ineptitude are promising. Wide-body deluxe sedans are lodged in narrow hutongs daily. A crane on Beijing’s horizon could be re-assigned into a masculine emergency service, to pluck these vehicles from their predicament.

But what’s prompted these musings on China legroom from a China hand? Well, the need for reversing the female reputation on reversing became yet more urgent this week after another condemning survey in the UK.

What, I thought, if a fleet of top-range women came east? There’s not just money to be made here, there’s reputations. Thereupon, a road map began to form in my head - and yes, I could read it. And fold it back into shape. We damsels of the fleet could encourage the latest in a series of China transport disputes – a national chauffeur strike.

Or we might encourage Chinese officials away from chauffeur-driven cars, so they would have to drive themselves and park. Here, characters in Chinese present a good possibility; the overall term for ‘bus’ comprises the symbols for ‘public,’ ‘vapour’ and ‘vehicle’. Bicycle is ‘do it yourself’ vehicle. Lobbied by ladies, the Chinese government might re-write 'chauffeur-driven car' as ‘small man over-enhancement vehicle.’ How fast would Chinese officials stop coveting those? (though why would the Chinese government do this, I hear you ask? Over-luxurious cars among local officials are causing unrest. Their interests are our interests.)

Whichever strategy worked, the result would be the same: a slew of inexperienced Chinese men trying to reverse park long-wheelbase cars by themselves. The parking would be more crooked than the officials. We, that aforementioned fleet of damsels, would be on hand to take video and pictures, to culture-jam social networking sites with image of ‘parking with socialist characteristics’. Which everyone would see meant 'Chinese men can't reverse'.

China’s economy will dominate the world; so too will aspects of its culture. If a new reverse parking paradigm were to be created here, then that too could spread.
The road ahead is difficult, but let’s adapt the phrase used to encourage endurance. Don’t lie back and think of England, ladies. Reverse and think of China.